How is it that the most popular person in Himmarshee, Fla., only has 47 Internote friends? I think that smart-aleck Deborah Sharp has done something to sabotage me. I bet she crossed the wires on the Wide World of the Web so that when people try to sign up to be Friends of Mama, they wind up on her page instead.
It's just not fair, y'all. I'm nicer than she is, and I'm a more interesting person, too. I was the head cheerleader AND homecoming queen at Himmarshee High back in .... well, a few years back. It's not braggin' if it's fact! What'd she ever do in high school? Dressed like a hippie and hung out at Surf Beach, that's what. I'm surprised any college would have her.
I'm ready to take things into my own hand. You know how that Ellen De-Something gal on TV has her own flag (and I'm not talking about the Rainbow Flag). Here's what it looks like:
Well, if Ellen can do it, I can too. I intend to conquer Ms. Sharp with a whole slew of new friends on Facebooks. So spread the word. You can sign up here, at Friends of Mama.
I'm declaring war, y'all. It's going to be just like Ellen's quest for world domination. Except all I want is 10 times as many friends as that unnamed author has.
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