Welcome to Ask Mama, for all the answers . . .

Rosalee Provenza, Mama in my mystery series, thinks she's the whole reason for Mama Does Time (Midnight Ink, 2008), and Mama Rides Shotgun (2009). She was sure her star couldn't shoot any higher after Mama Gets Hitched came out in 2010. But, sure enough, her head swelled to Hollywood diva size after 2011's Mama Sees Stars debuted with a red carpet party, complete with paparazzi. Now she's mixing it up with Mama Gets Trashed (September 2013). Don't tell Mama you read this note from me. In her mind, she sprung to life all on her own.
Author Deborah Sharp
PS: Mama has a way of taking over; but you'll find my own website nearly Rosalee-free.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Don't Give it Away, honey!

Well, how 'bout this, folks? Somebody sent in a letter from the Wide World of the Web. Didn't know they even had the Web in little dinky towns like this fella's.
Here it is:
Dear Mama,
I enjoy reading your advice, so pay no attention to your bossy daughter Mace when she says you talk too much. You're a classic.
Please help me with this problem: My high-school classmate works in a creamery, and he's up for a promotion to assistant manager on weekendnights, butI fear his dating life is going to hurt him. He's dating a woman who loves to drink. They sit together on the picnic table in front of my hometown bar on Main Street, kissing and touching. I've tried to get him to stop- to rent a room, so to speak -but they can't stop.
I'm worried the creamery won't like future management acting up like this in public.
What I should tell him?
Signed, Concerned Pal

Dear Concerned,
Your friend sounds like your average red-blooded American male. The problem's the girlfriend, kissing and fondling in public. Hasn't that gal ever heard that a man won't buy the cow when he can get the milk for free? Considering her man works in a creamery, you'd think she'd know that.
Have her write to Ask Mama. I'll set her straight on playing hard to get. You learn a thing or two on men after you've been married four times, I can tell you that.

Love, Mama

I'm Here to Help

Well, first of all, Howdy, y'all!
I can hardly believe I'm handing out advice to the World Wide Web! I've barely been out of Himmarshee, which is just a little speck of a spot north of Lake Okeechobee in the Florida wilds.
My middle daughter, Mace, says not to be too wordy, that people who go on the Web are real busy. So, l'll try to keep it short. Let's move on to our first troubled soul:

Dear Mama,
I don't know what to do. My boyfriend keeps promising to shape up and do right, but the next thing I know, he's hanging out 'til all hours drinking with his no-account friends and taking up with that tramp who lives two trailers over. Should I dump him?
Sincerely, Perplexed

Perplexed, you've got to ask yourself two things: Am I better off with or without him? And, if I'm better off with him, can I take that tramp who lives two trailers over?
Nah, I'm just kidding, honey. It sounds like that boyfriend doesn't respect you. If I was you, I'd dump that loser like a load of manure at the Livestock Auction. You can sure do better!

Love, Mama

See? There's nothing to it. Now, get out your blog pens and papers and send me some letters. I love to give advice (This is Mace speaking: Does she ever).

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