Well, how 'bout this, folks? Somebody sent in a letter from the Wide World of the Web. Didn't know they even had the Web in little dinky towns like this fella's.
Here it is:
Dear Mama,
I enjoy reading your advice, so pay no attention to your bossy daughter Mace when she says you talk too much. You're a classic.
Please help me with this problem: My high-school classmate works in a creamery, and he's up for a promotion to assistant manager on weekendnights, butI fear his dating life is going to hurt him. He's dating a woman who loves to drink. They sit together on the picnic table in front of my hometown bar on Main Street, kissing and touching. I've tried to get him to stop- to rent a room, so to speak -but they can't stop.
I'm worried the creamery won't like future management acting up like this in public.
What I should tell him?
Signed, Concerned Pal
Dear Concerned,
Your friend sounds like your average red-blooded American male. The problem's the girlfriend, kissing and fondling in public. Hasn't that gal ever heard that a man won't buy the cow when he can get the milk for free? Considering her man works in a creamery, you'd think she'd know that.
Have her write to Ask Mama. I'll set her straight on playing hard to get. You learn a thing or two on men after you've been married four times, I can tell you that.
Love, Mama
Here it is:
Dear Mama,
I enjoy reading your advice, so pay no attention to your bossy daughter Mace when she says you talk too much. You're a classic.
Please help me with this problem: My high-school classmate works in a creamery, and he's up for a promotion to assistant manager on weekendnights, butI fear his dating life is going to hurt him. He's dating a woman who loves to drink. They sit together on the picnic table in front of my hometown bar on Main Street, kissing and touching. I've tried to get him to stop- to rent a room, so to speak -but they can't stop.
I'm worried the creamery won't like future management acting up like this in public.
What I should tell him?
Signed, Concerned Pal
Dear Concerned,Your friend sounds like your average red-blooded American male. The problem's the girlfriend, kissing and fondling in public. Hasn't that gal ever heard that a man won't buy the cow when he can get the milk for free? Considering her man works in a creamery, you'd think she'd know that.
Have her write to Ask Mama. I'll set her straight on playing hard to get. You learn a thing or two on men after you've been married four times, I can tell you that.
Love, Mama
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