Welcome to Ask Mama, for all the answers . . .

Rosalee Provenza, Mama in my mystery series, thinks she's the whole reason for Mama Does Time (Midnight Ink, 2008), and Mama Rides Shotgun (2009). She was sure her star couldn't shoot any higher after Mama Gets Hitched came out in 2010. But, sure enough, her head swelled to Hollywood diva size after 2011's Mama Sees Stars debuted with a red carpet party, complete with paparazzi. Now she's mixing it up with Mama Gets Trashed (September 2013). Don't tell Mama you read this note from me. In her mind, she sprung to life all on her own.
Author Deborah Sharp
PS: Mama has a way of taking over; but you'll find my own website nearly Rosalee-free.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

That boy's got ticks in the brain!

Dear Mama,
I'm a big time TV correspondent, frequently dispatched to wars, hellholes, and other dangerous spots. I'm currently in Mexico, covering a hurricane. My wife's mad at me because I showed up on the national news this morning, driving around in a car during the storm as tree limbs whizzed by and electrical poles shattered amid showers of sparks.
She says I'm an insane adrenaline junkie who should be over this crap after twenty-some years. How can I get her to start speaking to me again?
The Colonel

Dear Colonel,
That must be one nutty army that would have you as an officer!
Have you had yourself checked for tick fever?
I say this 'cause I knew a boy once in Himmarshee who had it. It made him act all crazy. Like he climbed to the top of a corn silo once, just so he could pee off of it.
You better tell your poor wife to check herself for ticks, too. Anybody who'd stay married to you all that time surely has some kind of fever in the brain.
Maybe you can buy the two of you a pair of tick collars as a way of making up. Let me know if she ever starts talking to you again.

Love, Mama

1 comment:

Patricia said...

I've known the Colonel since he was a tadpole. always had ticks in his brain, ain't gonna change now. p/

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