Honey, You're too Pushy!

Well, the shoe's on the other foot again, y'all. I need your advice, and fast.

I know this author, let's say her name is Deborah S., and she is just the pushiest thing ever. A little while back, she took over this advice column of mine, here on the Wide World of the Web. Normally, I address the pressing concerns of folks needing help with all sorts of problems. But there she was, yammering on and on about some award or the other. She put up a bunch of pictures (The Monkees??), and made up all sorts of lies. Honestly, I stopped reading after the first three or four paragraphs. That poor gal is just plain boring without the wonderful source material provided to her by a certain matriarch from Himmarshee, Fla.

Anyhoo, she's at it again. Now she wants this space to announce that she's running a contest on April 20 over at the blog of an author friend by the name of Deb Baker . (That raises another question. Do all these author gals have the same name?) Deborah S. wanted me to let you know that all you have to do is comment on her post over at Powered by Books, and you'll be entered in a drawing to win a copy of MAMA RIDES SHOTGUN. She's pushed her way back AGAIN into announcing the winner here, on MY spot, on April 23.

Well, I'll go along, since I happen to know that book is a rip-roaring mystery starring yours truly. But somebody tell me, please, how do I get this pushy author out of my life? Y'all, she's just about to pluck my last nerve! I'd appreciate any advice you can offer, short of committing murder myself . . . Help!

Signed,
Mama

Flattered or Insulted?

Well, y'all ... I don't know whether to take this as a compliment or a dig. Why don't you tell me?

Seems that glory-hogging Deborah Sharp has grabbed another award, created by Lesa Holstein at Lesa's Book Critiques :




Creative Writer ... sounds nice, right? But look what's crossed out: Bald Faced Liar. And Deborah's friend, Sue Ann Jaffarian, nominated this little advice column of mine, not Miss Fancy Pants' boring old author blog, Mystery Gal.

So, does that make Deborah or me the liar? And, do I owe Sue Ann a thank-you?

Well, I'll play along. No one can call Mama a bad sport. Here are the rules:

1.Thank the person who gave this to you. Hmm, thanks (?), Sue Ann.

2.Copy the logo and place it on your blog. Done

3.Link to the person who nominated you. See #1 above.

4.Tell us up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth. Since the Bible tells us to always be truthful, I'm letting Deborah take over here (Lying doesn't seem to bother Miss Fancy Author):

1. I worked as a street mime in Paris the summer after high school.
2. I went, sans swimsuit, to a nude beach on my 50th birthday.
3. I was a DJ at my college radio station and my stage name was Sexy Sadie.
4. I was a finalist to be a contestant on the first season of ''Survivor.''
5. I was an Egyptian queen during one past life; a witch at the Salem trials in another.
6. I won a Hot Bod bikini contest during college Spring Break in Fort Lauderdale.
7. I was selected to be the first journalist in space before NASA's funding dried up.
8. I was arrested for violating a restraining order in a dust-up with the Monkees' Davy Jones.

5. Allow your readers to guess which one or more are true. Go for it, y'all.

6. Nominate seven "Creative Writers" who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies.

Victoria Allman : Following My Stomach
Alan Williamson : Unauthorized Insights
Glen Allison : Fat, Bald and Studly
Julia Buckley : Mysterious Musings
Deb Baker : Inside Looking Out
Pamela James and Terri Parsons : Mayhem & Magic
Mike Befeler : Author of ''Geezer Lit'' mysteries


7. Post links to the seven blogs you nominate. Done, see bloggers above.

8. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them. All set.

Okay, y'all ... I'll ask Fancy Pants Deborah to announce here two weeks from today which of her statements above are whoppers.

Sincerely,
Mama