Honey, You're too Pushy!

Well, the shoe's on the other foot again, y'all. I need your advice, and fast.

I know this author, let's say her name is Deborah S., and she is just the pushiest thing ever. A little while back, she took over this advice column of mine, here on the Wide World of the Web. Normally, I address the pressing concerns of folks needing help with all sorts of problems. But there she was, yammering on and on about some award or the other. She put up a bunch of pictures (The Monkees??), and made up all sorts of lies. Honestly, I stopped reading after the first three or four paragraphs. That poor gal is just plain boring without the wonderful source material provided to her by a certain matriarch from Himmarshee, Fla.

Anyhoo, she's at it again. Now she wants this space to announce that she's running a contest on April 20 over at the blog of an author friend by the name of Deb Baker . (That raises another question. Do all these author gals have the same name?) Deborah S. wanted me to let you know that all you have to do is comment on her post over at Powered by Books, and you'll be entered in a drawing to win a copy of MAMA RIDES SHOTGUN. She's pushed her way back AGAIN into announcing the winner here, on MY spot, on April 23.

Well, I'll go along, since I happen to know that book is a rip-roaring mystery starring yours truly. But somebody tell me, please, how do I get this pushy author out of my life? Y'all, she's just about to pluck my last nerve! I'd appreciate any advice you can offer, short of committing murder myself . . . Help!

Signed,
Mama

Rodeo Wear?

Dear Mama,

I'm going to be in Okeechobee, Fla., on Sat., July 25th, to celebrate National Day of the American Cowboy (Who knew we had one?) I know that's pretty close to your hometown of Himmarshee, so I'm hoping you have some advice for me on what to wear.

I have to be comfortable, since I'll be at the Agri-civic center rodeo grounds for several hours, talking about and signing my book, MAMA RIDES SHOTGUN. It's very hot this time of year in middle Fla., I know. May I dress accordingly?

Sincerely,
A Fan in Fort Lauderdale


Dear ''Fan,''

Honey, you aren't fooling me one bit with that young gal you sent a picture of. I know who you are: Deborah Sharp, Miss Snippy Author. Plus, that little gal in the cowgirl mini is young enough to be your granddaughter.

I know we've had our issues, what with you stealing all my stories for your books and all. But I'll do the Christian thing. I forgive you. And, I'm big enough to offer you my fashion advice. Lord knows you need it.

First of all, yes, it's warm. July here is hotter than two rats getting it on in a wool sock. But no short shorts (please, not in any setting, not at your age) and no halter tops (Gravity, honey. 'Nuff said.) You'll need a cowboy hat. And jeans are always in style in Himmarshee. One last thing, if your husband comes with you, tell him no Bermuda shorts and NO sandals. Those ''mandals'' will mark y'all as outsiders faster than trying to order a cappuccino at the Booze 'n' Breeze Drive-thru.

PS: It might have been nice, since I'm so close to Okeechobee, if you'd have invited me to be there for the big signing for OUR book. It's okay. I forgive you for that, too. But honey, you are pushin' your luck.

Love (?),
Mama

Madder than a Box of Frogs

Dear Readers,

I know this Wide World of the Web plog is for y'all to write me for advice. But I need a little advice myself. What do you wear to a butt-kickin'? Because that's what I'm fixing to give that snippy author Deborah Sharp!

I've told you how she grabs all the attention for the Mama books, even though all she does is write down my stories.

''Creative'' writing, I guess she calls it.

Anyhoo ... get a gander at this press release her fancy publisher sent out about my latest: Mama Rides Shotgun. Go ahead and read it, below. Then, I want you to tell me if you see ANY mention whatsoever of my role as creator and originator of the Mama character. Nope, didn't think so.

And that's my next question: Where do I find me a good copyright lawyer?

Contact: Courtney Kish

Midnight Ink Publicity

Email: CourtneyK@MidnightInkBooks.com

Tel: 651-312-8452

Midnight Ink

For Immediate Release

Native Floridian Continues Her Own Slice of “Old Florida” in Second Mystery

Author Deborah Sharp focuses on little-known rodeo-and-ranches slice of her state

“An amusingly wild ride through parts of Florida tourists rarely visit.”–Kirkus Reviews

ST. PAUL, MINN. — Native Floridian Deborah Sharp continues her passion about the vanishing culture, back roads and burgs of “Old Florida” in her second mystery novel Mama Rides Shotgun, (July).

In Mama Rides Shotgun, Mama's fixin' to marry husband number five. But before she does, she convinces daughter Mace to saddle up for some country-gal bonding on the Florida Cracker Trail. The six-day ride is going fine until wealthy rancher Lawton Bramble keels over in his Cow Hunter Chili.

A one-time beau of Mama's, Lawton Bramble had a bad ticker and tons of enemies. Mace has her doubts about natural causes, along with a long list of suspects who might have "spiced" the cattleman's chili. Mace's worried sisters Maddie and Marty join the ride, as does her sexy ex-beau, Detective Carlos Martinez. With—or despite—their help, Mace is determined to corral this killer.

Florida native Deborah Sharp is a former USA Today reporter. She left news tragedies behind to write the funny, Southern-fried “Mace Bauer Mystery’’ series. Her essays and short stories have run nationally, and her humor commentaries play on the NPR station in Tampa, Fla. Interviewed by Al Roker on NBC’s TODAY Show, Deborah has also made many appearances at book fests and conventions. Visit her on the web at: www.DeborahSharp.com.

Mama Rides Shotgun: A Mace Bauer Mystery (Book 2) by Deborah Sharp

US $14.95 CAN $16.95 | Paperback Original | ISBN: 978-0-7387-1330-4

PUB DATE: July 2009 | Midnight Ink Books

For more information, visit www.MidnightInkBooks.com.

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To request a review copy or arrange an interview with the author, please contact:

Courtney Kish, Midnight Ink Publicity

Email: CourtneyK@MidnightInkBooks.com, Tel: 651-312-8452