Welcome to Ask Mama, for all the answers . . .

Rosalee Provenza, Mama in my mystery series, thinks she's the whole reason for Mama Does Time (Midnight Ink, 2008), and Mama Rides Shotgun (2009). She was sure her star couldn't shoot any higher after Mama Gets Hitched came out in 2010. But, sure enough, her head swelled to Hollywood diva size after 2011's Mama Sees Stars debuted with a red carpet party, complete with paparazzi. Now she's mixing it up with Mama Gets Trashed (September 2013). Don't tell Mama you read this note from me. In her mind, she sprung to life all on her own.
Sincerely,
Author Deborah Sharp
PS: Mama has a way of taking over; but you'll find my own website nearly Rosalee-free.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Yippee, y'all! We're getting back to Mama handing out advice here in the bloggosphere. As you know, that's something I dearly love to do. So here's my most recent fashion question:

Dear Mama, 
I don't know what to do about an author friend of mine. She insists on wearing a feather boa to book signings, conferences,  and the like. I don't have the heart to tell her the boa's gotten kind of ripe (if you know what I mean) and it's really ratty looking. It's molting, and she leaves a trail of feathers everywhere she goes. Plus, who wears a boa with a pantsuit? Well, I know you do, Mama, but that's because you were in that movie recently and you became a Hollywood diva. I read all about it in Mama Sees Stars. Divas are expected to swan about in dark sunglasses and feather boas. 


Authors? Not so much. 


So my question is this: How do you tell a friend when they're making a big fashion faux pas? I don't want her to feel bad, but I'm also tired of vacuuming up feathers from the floor mats whenever she rides in my car. Did I mention I'm allergic to birds?

Signed, 
A Concerned Friend




Dear Concerned,

It's funny you should ask, because I know someone just like your friend. That snippy author Deborah Sharp runs around in a boa, pretending to be me. It makes me madder than a wasp with a ruined nest, I can tell you that.  Last time I checked, she wasn't the one who was cast in a Hollywood movie. I put a picture on this page, above, so you can see her blatantly trying to steal my spotlight, not to mention my red carpet.  (PS: Who wears a boa with sneakers?)

But enough about me. I say you sit your friend down and tell her the truth. That's always the best way to handle advice, don't you think? Well, unless one of your daughters asks if a certain dress she's wearing makes her look fat. It turns out you really should tell a white lie, or she'll go on a diet and not bring you candy on Mother's Day. Trust me.

You could always convince your friend to wear a sherbet-colored scarf instead of a boa. A scarf is just as pretty, and they don't shed. Unless you buy it at the dollar store. 

Yours Truly,
Mama 

1 comment:

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