Welcome to Ask Mama, for all the answers . . .

Rosalee Provenza, Mama in my mystery series, thinks she's the whole reason for Mama Does Time (Midnight Ink, 2008), and Mama Rides Shotgun (2009). She was sure her star couldn't shoot any higher after Mama Gets Hitched came out in 2010. But, sure enough, her head swelled to Hollywood diva size after 2011's Mama Sees Stars debuted with a red carpet party, complete with paparazzi. Now she's mixing it up with Mama Gets Trashed (September 2013). Don't tell Mama you read this note from me. In her mind, she sprung to life all on her own.
Author Deborah Sharp
PS: Mama has a way of taking over; but you'll find my own website nearly Rosalee-free.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

What Goes Best with the Red Carpet?

Oh my stars, y'all! I'm getting an award!!!!

Somebody on this Wide World of the Web has decided my little advice column is one of the Top 100 Mystery Novel Blogs. Check out the logo on the upper right hand portion of this page. That makes it official!

I'm pretty sure they meant the Top 10, but I'm not going to quibble .... I'm sure before the red carpet ceremony in Hollywood, they'll get all the figures straightened out. I bet the same accounting firm that handles the votes for the Academy Awards is going to tally up our votes, too, to see who's No. 1.

But enough of this boring talk about math. What in the world am I going to wear? Now, here's where I can use y'all's help. Being the best-dressed woman in Himmarshee, Fla., is one thing. But Hollywood? That's a whole 'nother universe. I do not want to end up as a red-carpet fashion victim, like that poor gal from Iceland who draped the swan across her neck and called it a dress. Here's a picture, in case you don't remember (though, honestly, how could you forget?)

I just hope when I'm up there at the podium, accepting my award for the Top Blog on the whole Wide World of the Web, that they don't let that rapper fellow, Kenny West, anywhere near the stage. Did y'all see the way he grabbed the microphone away from that sweet Taylor Swift the other night? Poor girl looked like she plucked the biscuit with the hair out of the bread basket.

All I can say is thank goodness Beyonce's mama taught her some manners. I got a tear in my eye when Beyonce's turn came at the podium, and she called Taylor up to have her say. And I sure did like that red dress Beyonce had on, too. Hey, if any of y'all happen to see her, tell Beyonce to drop me a line at Ask Mama. The high heel is on the other foot. I could sure use some of her advice on award ceremony fashion do's. This is my moment on the red carpet, and I do not intend to be a fashion don't.

(Note to Mace: Honey, have those Hollywood people called yet? I do not understand why they're waiting 'til the last minute to iron out the details of when and where I'm getting my worldwide award).


Hob said...

Hey Deb, maybe you could do the same as Bjork but with a horse!!!

Anonymous said...

Wonderful recognition. You would've had my vote, definitely. A complimentary moonpie awaits you, DS.
-- Glen Allison

Karen Cunningham said...

Miz Rosalee,

You don't know me, but that smarty pants writer, Deborah Sharp, met me at the Killer Nashville writer's conference a while back.

You might want to hold your horses until Mace actually does hear back from the Hollywood folks before you go to spending a lot of money on clothes for the red carpet.

Being a school bus driver and rabid NASCAR fan, I might not be the right one to give you high fashion advice, but I think you're on the right track about not wearing a dead animal or bird around you as a garment. I don't think the folks in Hollywood like that kind of thing. They might eat swan, but they don't want to think that somebody had to kill it first.

Anyway, our local Salvation Army store has a section of nice fancy dresses for sale. I can look through them for you if you want.

Tell Mace I said hey,

Rosalee Deveraux said...

Well, look at this ... Mama got some comments! Thanks, y'all. Sorry it took me so long to see them. I've been trying to find my way around this Wide World Web, but it's a trial. Guess I need one of those PPS thingamajigs, with that nice lady's voice telling me where to turn.

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