Dear Mama, I just found out my boyfriend plans to give me two tickets to the Monster Truck rally for Christmas this year. This comes after last year's gift (a gas grill) and the year before that (a circular saw). I've hinted and hinted and hinted that I'd be happier with a more feminine present (I'm sure that stupid saw cost more than a tiny diamond necklace would!) But so far, he hasn't taken the hint. What should I do?
Signed, Trucked Up
Dear Trucked,
Honey, you ought to be glad he's getting you any gifts at all. Husband No. 2 never got me one present in five years of marriage. That man was tighter than a wet boot. Dumb, too. If brains were blue ink, No. 2 couldn't dot an i.
I can see your point, though. Any woman in her right mind would prefer jewelry to power tools. Even so, you're lucky your beau wants your company at the Monster Truck show. Maybe you should buy yourself a pretty pendant and wear it (with your earplugs) when y'all go to see the ultimate smackdown between Bigfoot and King Krunch.
Love, Mama
