Too Close to His Mama

Well, finally!

I put out the word a while back that what with planning my own wedding and all, I'd be glad to take your ''wed-iquette'' questions. I just got my first letter, and I sure have something to say:


Dear Mama,

I'm supposed to get married next summer, but I'm having second thoughts. His mother wants to be involved, which is all fine and good, but she wants to be a little too involved, in my opinion. For example:

Instead of me walking down the aisle with my dad, she wants to walk down the aisle with my fiance, Norman. She wants to give him away.

She wants my bridesmaids to wear this putrid puce color, because that's the color she looks good in. She's already chosen her mother-of-the-groom dress in the same shade, and she wants all the flower arrangements to play off her dress.

We're buying things for the home we'll share, and his mother insists that this clunky wooden rocking chair come with us. My tastes run more to elegant modern furniture. The chair looks like something my great grandma would have stored in the attic.

Finally, I want a home with a nice master bath and big whirlpool tub. But Norman's mother insists a shower will do just fine, and won't take up as much space.

The worst part is, he wants to spend all his time with her, and he never stands up for me. I tell you, it cuts like a knife when he takes her side against me. Do you think I should go ahead with this wedding, Mama?

Signed, Concerned


Dear Concerned,

I have four words for you, darlin.' Rent Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho.

I'm all for children showing respect to their mamas (Mace falls a little short sometimes, to be honest). But your man is waaaaay too close to Mama. That's just going to bring you heartache, honey, or maybe something worse. Forget the rental hall deposit and run for the hills.

If you decide to not take my advice, and marry anyway .... well, just make sure you don't settle for the bathroom with that little shower.

Love,
Mama